This article was originally published in the Autumn 2015 issue of Choices Magazine. To view the published format, please click here.
I used to like working on holidays… There was something liberating being at the fire station versus home. Maybe it was the lack of traditions and the lowering of expectations that found me there. Those were usually slower days, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we weren’t expected to do our usual workload of non-firefighting duties. With the burdens lifted, we came to the table with open hearts and minds and broke bread as friends. Sometimes our families would come, enjoy dinner and visit. The day was quiet, relaxing, and enjoyable.
While I love family times and traditions, I have gotten frustrated with them as well. Because that is “the way we have always done it” doesn’t mean it can’t look different. For the first few years of my career (when I had to work a lot of holidays) I got a lot of grief from family that I didn’t make it to this or that. While they understood the job responsibility and obligations, they weren’t happy. It took a few years for us to carve out that is wasn’t the ‘holiday’ that made the day special, it was the coming together and celebrating that did, and, that didn’t have to occur on one particular day.
As my kids grew for the first few years of their lives they didn’t know when the actual day of Christmas was so we would celebrate it on the closest day we could to the actual day. As they got into school and became more aware of dates, they found this really worked to their advantage. They did Christmas at home and then Christmas with the grandparents, they got two days! My point is we adapted and our tradition became what worked for us and not what was expected. Over the years, we have had fun with it and now my mate and I celebrate birthday month because one day isn’t nearly enough! We make the holiday work for us instead of bending to the pressure of tradition.
Don’t get down on yourself if the holidays don’t look like they ‘should.’ Sometimes new tradition allows for a completely new experience. Multiple Christmas’, Thanksgivings, etc. doesn’t have to be problem. In fact, why not spread out the joy? The true tragedy of the season is when its spent in drama because you couldn’t be in two places at one time. Rethink your traditions and update them to fit your lifestyle and job. Maybe it’s Christmas in January because you can’t get off work in December. Have a turkey dinner in October and head out for dessert trick-or-treating. It’s not the day that is special… You, and the people you love around you are the reason for any season and no day can define that for you. Start a new tradition that works for everyone and take the drama out of holidays once and for all!
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