This article was originally published in the Winter 2014 issue of Choices Magazine. To view the published format, please click here.
Are you living life in a “Maybe?” Maybes are situations where you aren’t quite sure what is going on. Mostly we see them in relationships and the worse thing about them is they make us question our own sanity. There is nothing worse than wondering if what you are thinking is right or wrong, on target or off, or if the other person is as committed to you as you are to them. Life in a “Maybe” is no fun, and, it doesn’t make us feel empowered. Here are three steps to help rid your life of “Maybes!”
First step is to get some perspective. Ask yourself, with a yes or no, with no thinking about it beforehand, in less than three seconds, “Do you want to stay in your relationship/marriage/partnership?” This will help you focus on the second step, identifying your purpose and what your heart really wants. If you answered yes, you aren’t done yet. If you answered “no,” you need to do some internal soul searching and start asking more questions. Both answers will require introspect but getting clear on what your heart is saying gets you started on the right path. The last step is to find your passion and decide what needs to be done. Good questions to start with: Are you really giving it your all? Are you willing to do what it takes? Or, are you just doing time because you are scared/financially stuck/alone? It’s never about time or money; it’s about commitment and passion. If you aren’t in it with your heart, it’s not fair to you or them to stay. You have a big decision to make. Being passionate in finding a solution with resolution stops a maybe in its tracks!
What would happen, really happen, if you asked them directly and got your answer? Sometimes our fear of what they might say is much worse than actually knowing. The saying, “It’s better to dance with the devil you know than the one you don’t,” applies here. A lot of energy is expended on wondering… I say, “Ask!” Usually our minds are much better making up worse case scenario than accepting a simple truth. Getting a good grasp on the situation by identifying your 3 P’s, perspective, purpose, and passion, frees you from the bondage of a maybe. Do you really want to waste years of your life on hoping it will get better, or, would it be better to know now, even if it the answer might painful?
Facing a maybe can be some of the hardest work we do. It is a point in our life when we need to get very clear on who we are, what we want, and figure out what road we really want to follow. If we don’t get clear our health suffers, our stress level increases, and eventually we start doubting the one person we rely on most, our self. Get out of life’s maybes- it is better to know now, no matter how much we think it will hurt in the short term. Freeing relationships and ourselves brings new perspective, purpose, and passion and is the only way to ignite our own flame keeping us empowered on the road to great health!
Stop living a life in a maybe!